The Orange Bubble Goes to School
By Jirair Tutunjian
Concerned that President Orange Bubble’s (POB) slurring, the mangling of words and forgetting of words and place names might drive Americans to conclude their president is not well, MAGA honchos and Deep State big wigs arranged that President Bubble see speech therapist-psychiatrist Dr. Jarred Blabstein.
Dr.Blabstein: Good morning, Your Highness.
POB: If you say so.
Dr. Blabstein: There are at least 195 states and countless cities and towns. Thus, it’s hard to remember or pronounce all their names correctly. But since you are the master of the universe, it’s important that your pronunciation be perfect.
POB: Are you going to nag me about the Albanian and Aziristan War. So yesterday.
Dr. Blabstein: What is the name of the country President Bush Jr.invaded?
POB: Eye Rack.
Dr. Blabstein: Say Earaq three times. There’s no country named Eye Rack.
POB: That’s funny…from Eye Rack to Ear AK.
Dr. Blabstein: Which country are our gallant soldiers fighting this week?
POB: The infidel Eye Ran.
Dr. Blabstein: Do we say My Si Si Pi River? Do we say state of Flo Rye Da? No. So, why Eye Rack and Eye Ran?
POB: What’s the difference between Persia and Ear-an??
Dr. Blabstein: Let’s stick to pronunciation. Although you renamed the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America, you have difficulty with Latin place names.
POB: With whom would I talk Latin? Nero? Julius Pliny the Elder or the Pope?
Dr. Blabstein: What’s the biggest island in the Gulf of America?
POB: Cube-Ah.
Dr. Blabstein: Wrong. It’s Koo
POB: Kooba…Cube-A…what’s the diff?
Dr. Blabstein: What’s the second-largest island in the Caribbean?
POB: Search me. Ask me about good old America.
Dr. Blabstein: There is a Caribbean island which is composed of two states on it. One of them is the Dominican Republic. What’s the other?
POB: That’s easy. It’s High Tea…like the English cup a tea.
Dr. Blabstein: It’s Hate-ee.
POB: I can’t say that. All the Lefties will call me hateful racist.
Dr. Blabstein: You got a point there. There are two tiny archipelagos which are owned by the United States and the British. What are the names of the archipelagos?
POB: That’s a trick question. I will not answer it.
Dr. Blabstein: I don’t know what you are talking about?
POB: You are tricking me to say “Virgin”…
Dr. Blabstein: What virgin?
POB: Don’t play games with me. If I say “Virgin,” you will ask me about the Jeffrey Epstein’s island in the U.S. Virgins.
Dr. Blabstein: What’s the name of the small Caribbean island where people stash millions of undeclared money?
POB: Gotcha. You want me to say Gay Man Island. Listen, I have nothing against homosexuals, lesbians and the 155 genders, although their flag is atrocious.
Dr. Blabstein: We have veered from the topic of this exercise…Let’s go back.
POB: Sorry, Doc. Gotta go…they’re waiting for me in the Offal Office.
Dr. Blabstein: I help you with this one. What is the peninsula east of Florida?
POB: I will not utter the accursed terrorist name.
Dr. Blabstein: Sorry, Mr. President. Sometimes I don’t know what you are talking about. That’s why your friends are worried. What terrorists are you talking about?
POB: Gotta go, doc. So little time…so many countries to occupy, to destroy…to raze…Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, Canada, Greenland, Mexico, Palestine, Lebanon, Yemen…Hey, lemme tell you a top secret…. Straight from CIA files. “Bahamas”? Where did the name come from?The islands were the hideout of the Hamas pirates, the great-grandfathers of today’s Muslimic Hamas terrori
Dr. Blabstine: No wonder you are the Emperor of the Universe. Amazing. I am humbled.
