Saps in Fantasy World

By Jirair Tutunjian

There was an unprecedented, unusual, and history-altering event
recently in New York City as the leaders of 197 Member States of the
United Nations gathered in the organization’s General Assembly Hall.
Everyone from General Secretary Xi Jinping of China to President
Mahmoud Abbas of the Palestinian Authority to former Vice President
Kamala Harris of the United States were in attendance in addition to
the leader of Japan, Prime Minister Anatole Collinet Makosso of the
Democratic Republic of Congo, President Abdelmajid Tebboune of
Algeria, and leaders from 191 other states.
First to address the gathering was Mr. Jinping. After describing the
horrific Japanese invasion of China in the 1930s, the General Secretary
of the Chinese Communist Party said China forgave Japan for the
monstrous killing of 3 million to 10 million Chinese.
Mr. Jinping was followed by Indonesia’s Joko Widodo, Philippines’
Ferdinand Marcos Jr., and Korean leaders Lee Jae-Myung (South
Korean) and Kim Jong Un (North Korea). The four leaders said they also
forgave Japan for the killing of millions of Koreans, Indonesians, and
Filipinos during the Second World War.
They were followed by President Dennis Sassou Nguesso of the
Republic of Congo and the aforementioned President Makosso. The
Congolese leaders said they forgave Belgium for the deaths (1880-

1905) of 10 million to 15 million Congolese. He admitted he had no
right to forgive a genocide which occurred before his father was born.
Next to address the assembly was Namibia’s Hage Geingo who said his
people forgave Germany for the killing of 90,000 Herero and Namaqua
people early in the 20 th century. He said he appreciated Germany’s
economic assistance which called “blood money.”
Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelensky announced he forgave the Soviet Union
for the Holodomor during which 4 million to 6 million Ukrainians
perished by Stalin’s goons. Unfortunately, attendees couldn’t
understand him because of his accent. He was followed by President
Abbas who said he forgave Israel, the Irgun and Stern terrorist gangs,
Palmach and the Israeli Defense Forces who drove Palestinians from
their homeland reducing them to refugees, and since the 1920s have
killed hundreds of thousands Palestinian civilians. He said he was
eagerly counting the days when he would forgive Prime Minister
Benyamin Netanyahu and his fascist gang of genociders. He said he was
certain 80 percent of Israeli citizens who support the Gaza genocide
would change their minds if they knew the truth about the longtime
conflict.
Next to speak was President Recep Erdogan of Turkey. He said he
forgave Armenians who had burned down Izmir, parts of Istanbul, and
Ankara and had killed countless Turks thus forcing the humane leaders
of Turkey to deport Armenians before the understandably irate Turks
avenged their martyrs. He added he also forgave the Armenians who
had not admitted their “horrendous, monstrous, and heinous crimes.”
Others who addressed the august gathering were former U.S. Vice
President Kamala Harris (she forgave Americans who were responsible
for the enslavement of her people) and Native American leaders who
said although the United States had killed millions of Natives and had

driven the survivors from fertile lands to the deserts of the Southwest
to die of hunger, Native Americans forgave the United States and
blamed the mistreatment of his people on the innocent ambitions of
the White Man.
One of the final speakers was President Abdulmajid Tebboune. He said
the killing of 1.5 million of his countrymen by France in the Fifties was
ancient history and it was pointless to remember it.
There were other leaders from Latin America, Africa, and Asia who
extended forgiveness to their former torturers. After the last absolving
speech, UN Secretary-General Antonio Gutteres thanked the speakers
and asked how they all had made their unexpected and historic
decision at the same time.
Speaking on behalf of the African-American delegation, singer Beyoncé,
in blonde tresses, said: “When we heard that Armenian Prime Minister
Nicol Pashmina had dismissed the genocide of 1.5 million Armenians as
idle talk, the dispossession of millions more, and the occupation of
Western Armenia and Cilicia by Turkey, which denies its horrendous
crime, we decided to match Nicol’s inexplicable uttering. How can we
allow the unbalanced ruler of a small country outmatch us in turning
the other cheek?” She concluded the remarkable session by singing a
medley of her hit songs: Beautiful Liar, Sunset Dreams, and All Up in
Your Mind.