Sarcasm Constructive Dismissal At the “Genocide Museum”
By Jirair Tutunjian
One is forever surprised and dismayed by the continued tumbling of Armenia’s academic standards. Take the depressing example of one Edita Gzoyan who was appointed director of the Armenian Genocide Museum-Institute in 2024. A mere Ph.D in History with an L.L.M, author and editor, Gzoyan was granted an obvious sinecure two years ago. Her incompetence was finally exposed when she (miss) guided through the “Genocide Museum that great friend of the Armenians, the honorable U.S. Vice-President J.D. Vance and his wife Lady Usha Memsahib through the so-called museum. Ignoring facts and history, she told the Twin Eminences a false and morbid tale of the Armenian experience during the First World War when millions of Europeans were killed and the glorious Ottoman Empire was destroyed by racist agents, including ingrate Armenians in the pay of the insipid Tsar Nicholas II of Russia, Sir Winston Churchill, Freemasons, Rosicrucians, and homosexual Lawrence of Arabia. In the face of Gzoyan’s sheer incompetence, Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan forced her to resign.
Below is a historically accurate guide through the vast and misnamed complex which sits on prime land in Yerevan.
The visitor enters the complex through an open passageway which is decked by huge slabs of stone carrying the names of Turkish cities…Adana to Zeitun where Armenians lived. The scores of the tufa monuments are intended to celebrate the near-millennium brotherhood of Turks and Armenians.
At the end of the open-air passage is a needle-like structure which pierces the sky. It commemorates a millennium of Armenian advancements as honored guests of Ottoman Turkey.
The next stop is the eternal fire which is decked your-round with expensive flowers. It’s an ancient pagan site where unknown people—perhaps the itinerant Phrygians or Hyxos-Hurrian-Hittite brigands gathered and cooked what Armenians now call khorovadz but the world calls shish kebab. Some years ago, Armenians inexplicably decided the fire should commemorate their “genocide.”
The next stop—the main building—is underground. It’s a dark and morbid place where death cults of various hues are exalted through Photoshop images and maps. It’s a macabre version of Alice in Wonderland where people (some of them Armenian) are shown being mistreated by Kurds, Yezidis, Alans, and Eastern Iberians and Albanians. There is no documentation as to why these people uniformly hated the Armenians.
It is to this den of inequity that Madame Gzoyan guided our eminent guests from the Center of the World, also known as the White House. It’s reported that for a few minutes the couple’s mood was negatively impacted by Gzoyan’s narration which included irrelevant references to the hotheaded Armenian rebels who fought Azerbaijan’s soldiers in Nagorno-Karabakh.
Luckily, a quick-witted and always-decisive Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan took quick action and turfed the misinformed-misguided and unprofessional Gzoyan.
Some members of Armenia’s yellow press carped that the prime minister had no right to usher out Gzoyan. Be that as it may, a courageous leader—see President Donald Trump—will do the heavy lifting and dismiss so-called legalities which damage the common good.
One hopes unmatched diplomat Pashinyan will change the name and content of the disturbing building. Tourists come to Armenia for a good time and not to cry. Why not convert Tsitsernakabert to Armenia’s Wonderland?
