Mad to the Nth Degree

By Serop Stepanian,
Keghart
Governments around the globe, especially their interior and external ministries, are working 24/7 to be au courant with the rapid revolutionary developments in the four corners of the world. The statues and busts of national heroes Bolivar, Washington, Nelson, Gandhi, Lumumba, Mandela… are being toppled by governments and new currencies–sans the image of heroes and liberators–are being freshly minted. Coats of arm are being modified and sometimes banned. National anthem lyrics are being made tepid and the symbolism of national flags analyzed.
Why the sudden storm of anti-patriotic activity at various countries around the world?
Governments from Bogota to Berlin to Baghdad have been inspired by the latest deranged rants of the Sage of the Southern Caucasus, aka Nikol Pashinian. The international storm was unleashed by Pashinyan when he delivered yet another unhinged and treacherous speech but this time at the Global Armenia Summit in Yerevan last month.
In a typical diffuse and psychologically out of whack speech, the failed ex-journalist declared “The model of Armenian patriotism is destructive.”
The Seer of Yerevan went on to explain:
–“Armenian patriotism has nothing to do with Armenia.” If the mad man is right, should “patriot” be dropped from Armenian dictionaries? Where do redundant patriots—people who love their country—go now? Would “patriot” become a curse, an insult? What do we do about our countless heroes who have died for their homeland in the past 2,800 years?
–“Armenian patriotism is an imperial model which was introduced into our social psychology, through books, films, texts, speeches, characters, and images,” said the hysterical Magus of Armenia. He didn’t identify the imperial influencers or which books were responsible for our burdensome patriotism. We are also in the dark about Nikol’s “social psychology.” What is the failed journalist trying to say? As well, which books and films are responsible for our apparently wrong-headed patriotism?
–“Such a patriotic model excludes the existence of an independent and sovereign Armenian state,” said the man who gave the excuse to Azerbaijan’s attack Armenia in 2020 when he shrieked (his usual voice) “Artsakh is Armenia.”
–“Armenia should distance itself from its history,” went on the Moron Baron. He didn’t announce the distancing cut-off date…was it 2020 or 2016 when he was elected? When do we start our history? (that ugly word again). The day Nigoghos came to power? Are we going to identify dates by “B.N” (Before Nigoghos) and “A.N” (After Nigoghos)?
The obvious way to distance ourselves from our history is to ban talking about our collective past and its prominent figures. The Nigoghos’ take would mean Armenian babies will no longer bear names such as Haig, Aram, Dikran, Arshag, Satenig, Vartan, Vahan, Rupen, Levon, and Antranig. These people are hazardous to our national health because they remind us and our brother Turks of occupied Western Armenia.
The Sage of Yerevan more than intimated that we should forget Western Armenia (90 percent of Armenia) in addition to forgetting the Genocide. While he is at it, he might as well enact laws which would ban the hanging of Mt. Ararat images from the walls of Armenian living rooms? After all, Armenia’s joker prime minister will tell you the Turk has occupied the mountain for more than a century.
While Sly Nikol was addressing attendees, he had a wider audience in mind and a perverse agenda. He was trying to create a chasm between the citizens of Armenia and Diaspora Armenians. He wanted to cut the umbilical cord connecting the Diaspora to Armenia. He was telling his Armenia audience that the Diaspora is to blame for the attacks of Turkbeijan. By commemorating the Genocide, by reminding the world of the Genocide the Diaspora was raising the ire of the Genocidal Twins in Ankara and in Baku. We should take off our hats, bend our heads, and say “how high?” when Turkbeijan says: “Jump.” Although he is teetering between absurdity and paranoia, sly Nikol has an agenda: He wants to pit the 3-million citizens of Armenia against the 6-million Diaspora Armenians. He was promising the good life to the citizens of Armenia if they dismissed their Diaspora brothers and sisters. He was promising to them that Armenia would enjoy halcyon days only if it went into bed with the two Turkic-Tatar suitors and responded positively to the pair’s demands.
The Magus of Yerevan wants to turn the three-million Armenians of Armenia into soulless consumers with no past and chasing shoddy Turkish consumer goods and vacations in Antalya. He wants to keep the 6 million Diasporans out of their homeland, unless they want to visit as tourists and inject money into the Pashinian’s coffers. The financial costs of running a dictatorship are high and Pashinian desperately needs money: he has to pay security peoples’ salaries which he has boosted nearly three-fold to buy their loyalty.
Mister Nikol’s parents must have had a sense of irony when they named their baby Nikol forty-nine years ago (sorry for bringing up forbidden history). You see, Nikol derives from Nike, the Greek god of victory.