Mockery Hailed by Blind “Nationalists”

By Jirair Tutunjian

 

In 1958-’59 many Diaspora Armenians made a beeline to view The Deep Six, an Alan Ladd World War II movie in the Pacific. What was the attraction which impelled Armenians to see the B-movie?

We had heard that Armenian was spoken in the American movie. This was a “historic” first, most Armenians thought. For the first time ever our language was to be heard in movie palaces around the world. We had arrived.

“For the first time” is wrong. There were one or two Armenian words in The Egyptian (1954).

What was movie’s connection to Armenians and to their language? Popular composer-actor Ross Bagdasarian (Private Aaron Slobodjian). He was the conduit which injected Armenian into the film.

This is how it happened. Bagdasarian and other crew members were on a five day “liberty” in San Francisco. After their long sojourn in the Pacific, they were looking for female company. Bagdasarian promised his mates a good time at the city’s Armenian social club. He said: “There are plenty of Armenians in San Francisco and I will find cousins for everyone.” He then corrected himself and said: “Female kissing cousins.” Yes, sex-starved Armenian women would instantly become “kissing cousins” to the sailors who couldn’t have known the difference between Armenia and Albania.

The dozen or so sailors, guided by Bagdasarian, turn up at the Armenian Social Club where in the absence of males young girls are dancing with each other.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, they are eager for male company.

Bagdasarian, speaking in Armenian, addresses the women: “Ays anoush dghaknere tsezi hamar ge grveen.” (These lovely boys are fighting for you) and added “Let’s show our sailor cousins what real Armenian hospitality is.” He expected the Armenian women to give the “heroes” a warm welcome. The whole thing reeked of semi-pimping.

He had hardly finished his sentence when man-hungry dark-haired women rushed on the sailors…dancing with them, hugging them, sitting on their lap. Yes, it was some traditional Armenian hospitality. To make the situation worse, a sailor got rid of one of the women by pushing her on another sailor.

Despite the heightened view among Armenians of Bagdasarian’s role in the movie, he received a dismal ninth billing… behind newcomer and unfunny Joey Bishop.

I had hoped the embarrassing movie had been deep-sixed. But these days nothing vanishes in the media world. A few days ago Beirut’s Zartonk ran an item about The Deep Six. I was shocked left-wing Zartonk would feature the execrable movie without comment. Meanwhile, several readers sent positive comments about the dumb, racist, and misleading movie. Had the review writers seen the same movie I had? When B-movie director Rudolph Mate film was released, critics were unimpressed and called it cliché ridden

Warner Bros. should be told to deep six The Deep Six.

The big puzzle is Bagdasarian’s role in the movie. Why did he participate in this mockery and character assassination of his people?

The Deep Six was filmed during the Eisenhower era, a decade which many Americans—particularly MAGA adherents–like to think was a time their country was at its apex. Yes, the good old days when the non-WASP Americans were second- and third-class citizens who could be insulted with impunity.

It hurts that patriotic Bagdasarian wasn’t aware the episode in the Armenian Social Club was character assassination which Turkey would have loved to have spread.

It hurts that Zartonk saw it fit to feature the Armenian Social Club mess without criticizing the movie.