Self-defeating Competition
By Jirair Tutunjian
For months, Hagop and Harout had been avoiding each other because they didn’t want to talk about the various calamities that have stunned the Armenian nation in recent years. They finally had a tete-a-tete at Bistro Eutopia in downtown Glenpasa.
HAGOP: Long time no see, paregam. How are you? What’s new? Que pasa, as we say in these parts.
HAROUT: I’ve been keeping busy studying competition between cities, states, and nations.
HAGOP: Why? What’s the point?
HAROUT: If that’s going to be your attitude, we will talk about something else. Tell me what you’ve been doing.
HAGOP: No, no… Sorry. Go ahead and tell me about your interesting research.
HAROUT: Have you noticed that Melbourne competes with Sidney, Montreal competes with Toronto, San Francisco competes with Los Angeles, Buenos Aires competes with Rio de Janiero, Alexandria competes with Cairo? It seems wherever there are two big cities in close proximity, you’ll notice the city-to-city competition.
HAGOP: You’re right. Munich competes with Frankfurt, Moscow with St. Petersburg, Johannesburg with Cape Town.
HAROUT: The competition is not limited to cities: states also compete. You know of the traditional competition between France and the United Kingdom, Pakistan vs. India, Vietnam vs. Cambodia, etc. But there is another competition: it’s the one between nations. I am mostly interested in studying that one.
HAGOP: Let’s hear it. I am all ears.
HAROUT: In addition to about 190 United Nations states, there are countless number of nations, races, ethnic groups, etc. I have frequently noticed that when Armenians slip into the ever-popular self-condemnation mode, the nation they pick to compare themselves with are the Jews. They keep echoing themselves: “Why can’t we be like the Jews? Why can’t we be as successful?” It’s a bizarre phenomenon that we are forever competing with the most successful nation in the world.
Take the Nobel Prize. Since 1901, some 216 Jews have won the prize in chemistry, economics, literature, peace, and medicine…only two Armenians have won the Nobel. Although Jews are only 0.2 percent of the world population, they have won a remarkable 22 percent of the prizes. And yet, we put ourselves in the wringer because we can’t be the top of the class. The self-immolation, the arrogance, the beating of our chests sabotage any chance of progress. Do you remember the tale of the cow and the frog?
HAROUT: Sure do. The other day there was a gathering about the practical steps we should take to pull ourselves from the current morass. Although the speaker was qualified to address the topic and the event was well publicized, fewer than 25 people attended the gathering. There were only two young people in the audience. I bet if the topic was on how to compete with the Jews, you would have seen SRO (standing room only)
