Armenian political prisoner Ruben Vardanyan’s hearfelt message from Baku jail

Armenian political prisoner Ruben Vardanyan delivered a personal appeal through his family from a Baku prison. His full message is provided below.

“Dear compatriots!

Today is March 5th. I want to say a few words to you as Ruben Vardanyan, just as I am: as an Armenian, who speaks and thinks in Russian. As a man of the world, who is happily married, loves everyone, who has dedicated himself to self-education, and who lives with faith in God.

First of all, I want to thank all of you for supporting me through your prayers, thoughts, letters, and simply for not being indifferent to what is happening here. I feel all these thoughts and wishes and they give me great strength and energy. Thoughts are most certainly material. I am in good shape, I feel strong, my health is fine, and I am in complete peace with myself, with my spirit as strong as ever.

I want to apologize to my beloved wife, to my family, and to all those dear to me, whom I have caused so much pain and worry with my decision. But each of us has our own unique path, and I have chosen this path for myself. Our fate is predestined by God, but we are the ones who choose the road we take. Even when we refuse to make a choice, then inevitably someone else will make it for us.

I want to emphasize once again that my decision has nothing to do with my personal well-being or my conditions in the detention center, just as it was last time when I went on a hunger strike for 20 days until midnight on April 24. This is a protest – against the very nature of the process itself, against the way this process is unfolding.

I knew what I was getting into, and I was prepared – and am still prepared – for even worse conditions. I am not a victim, and I do not want to be pitied, because all this was a conscious decision.

My demands remain the same. If there is such a desire to judge me – judge me professionally, publicly, openly, in accordance with Azerbaijani laws and all legal procedures, along with everyone else. In the presence of international journalists and observers – after all, you are so sure of your righteousness. Stop artificially separating my case. Why have you singled me out, when all my charges are based on the claim that I have supposedly been part of an organized criminal group since 1987?

Do not violate your own laws and procedures. Do not falsify documents, do not manipulate evidence and protocols. You have everything – my phone and other personal belongings, my documents, they are all fully available to you. Don’t mock the judicial system with this show trial, farce and imitation game. If you are going to judge – then judge fairly.

I want to tell all my compatriots, my beloved ones: it is not just me and 15 others that are being put on trial – it is all Armenians around the world. And if you do not understand this, it is a great tragedy, because this is not the end of the story, not the end of the conflict – only another stage, unfortunately, for all sides.

I am being accused of everything that has happened since 1987. No problem – I am ready to take the heaviest punishment for whatever if only it would bring peace and stability. But it is an illusion to think that after this process is over, you will all be left alone, that you will be able to go about your lives and enjoy simple pleasures without thinking about these problems. The challenges still lie ahead for all of us.

I knew what I was doing when I moved to Artsakh. Every person in life makes decisions for themselves, and in the end they will stand before God alone and answer for their thoughts, their words, and their actions. I know this to be true. Even when someone sacrifices themselves for their homeland, for their family, or for certain principles – it is only their decision and their responsibility to bear. And in that sense, I was fully aware of my choices.

I do not know if I will have another opportunity to speak with you, and so I want to ask for forgiveness from everyone whom I may have ever hurt – through words, actions, or carelessness.Please forgive me! I have never done anything out of malice, envy, pride, or revenge. I never wished to cause anyone pain.

I want to say something separately about one person who is, unfortunately, before whom I feel the greatest sorrow and pain. Dear Alvard, (note: the wife of Davit Manukyan, with whom Ruben left Artsakh in a car) if I had not been in your car, if we had not been together with your husband, Alvard, he would be with you now. Please forgive me. For me, this is the heaviest punishment – that because of me, another person is suffering alongside us.

I also want to apologize separately to all the children who have lost their homeland – that I did not do everything I could, everything I should have, to prevent this. I did as much as I felt I had the moral right to do because I was with you. But I was with you alone, without my family. And yet, I am glad that I was able to prevent certain things that, in my opinion, could have broken us as a nation completely. I managed to stop that and change the course of history a little.

I was happy to be with you, the people of Artsakh, during this difficult time – to always feel your love, warmth, gratitude, and trust. I am proud of you – real, down to earth and my dear people, and I love you all sincerely.

I am a very happy person. God has given me a wonderful family and friends. I was able to bring to life countless projects with unique partners. I have seen so much of the world. But some of the best days of my life were those when, despite all hardships – the blockade, the uncertainty of the future, the difficult conditions – when we rebuilt Akobavank monastery together, broke bread together, and danced our dances.

I am happy that, together with many friends and partners, we were able to carry out dozens of projects in Artsakh. I especially want to thank my Muslim friend (I will not name him, so as not to cause him trouble) for the opportunity to restore the mosque in Shushi together.

Remember: evil must never be answered with evil – for then it only grows and strengthens. And after Sumgait comes Khojaly, and this cycle goes on endlessly. This path was never acceptable to me, because it has no future – it is a dead-end with, unfortunately, no good way out.

I also want to thank many Azerbaijanis whom I have encountered here for staying true to basic human values, even though they see me as an enemy and have their own grievances and mistrust. Despite what they may feel, a lot of them have shown their humanity towards me. And as for those who did not – I genuinely feel sorry for them and forgive them, just as I forgive the Armenians who behave the same way toward me and my family in Armenia.

I am an optimist, and I believe that despite everything, we will overcome all the challenges and difficulties before us. We will once again live in our homeland, in peace with our neighbor, respecting one another and overcome the mutual hate and resentment that has built up over the years – just as some other nations have managed to do.

But if we truly want this, we need a real, stable, long-term peace – not just on a piece of paper, but a peace that is sustainable and is adhered to by all people on a daily basis. We must understand that no one owes us anything. Lasting agreements can only be reached by those who are strong, with a country that has an honorable and dignified elite. True elites are not defined by wealth, connections, power, or even intellect – but by the understanding that those who have been given more in life are held to a higher standard. True elites place their duty to society and responsibility for the future of the nation above all personal interests and desires.

And finally, in memory of all those who have fallen and suffered in this terrible conflict – I deeply believe that some things are more important than the life of a single person. These are faith in goodness, in light, in love, in values, in sacred things – the spiritual foundations that distinguish humans from machines. Without them, the world will once again sink into chaos or perish in a flood or other disasters. One must not become a slave to the golden calf… All of this has already happened in human history. Let us not allow it to happen again and do everything in our power to prevent it, because faith in values is the foundation of our future.

That is why, for the sake of preserving these fundamental values, I am ready to go to the very end, in peace with myself, absolutely happy. Because happiness begins and ends within you, when you are at peace with yourself. You can be happy in a luxurious palace, and you can be happy in the worst prison cell – if you are at peace with yourself.

I am glad that I can serve my people and the principles that I consider to be of greater importance not only for our nation but for all of humanity.

And finally, I want to say that one must never… I realized here that one must never give in to despair or indifference, and I understood why it is the most terrible of the seven sins. I used to think it was pride or envy. But despair means that the divine spark within you has gone out, that you have stopped believing in anything, that you have simply raised your hands and given up.

Never – I urge you… I would like us to never lose faith in everything and never give in to despair. Please! This is the foundation of our future, and that is why I love you all and deeply appreciate the chance that I have been given. I will do everything I can and will continue to do so.

I love you all. I am sure that everything will be alright. I have always been, am, and will be with you. I am a person who wants to live, who wants to love, and who wants to continue his work. But I believe that what I am doing is the right thing, because it is the only way to awaken you from the indifference in which you find yourselves.

Everything will be alright!

I love you, respect you, and I am certain that despite all the difficulties ahead, we will persevere. I stand with you as Ruben Vardanyan, son of Karlen, grandson of Hamayak Vardanyan, carrying my entire heritage – the legacy of my parents and my Artsakh grandmother.

I am grateful to you for giving me the joy of being Armenian and loving my homeland.”