Pashinyan’s Proust Questionnaire
By Jirair Tutunjian
The Proust Questionnaire, created by French novelist Marcel Proust, is a set of questions which purportedly reveal a person’s thoughts, character, and preferences. Magazines, TV and radio programs have featured the questionnaire. Recently Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan sat for a Proust Questionnaire.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Shopping with my wife in Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar.
What is your greatest fear?
I have no fear. Why would I have any fear when an elite team of US Navy Seals, secret service agents, and commandos protect me?
What historical figure you most identify with?
Joan of Arc. Other than my wife, she’s the only person who would have understood me.
What do you deplore about your appearance?
Nothing.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I can’t think of any.
What trait you most deplore in others?
Not being appreciated by Armenians who don’t realize I have salvaged Armenia. I particularly deplore Armenians who are still stuck in the anti-Azeri mindset formulated by Soviet intelligence.
But didn’t the Azeris, who are ethnicTurks, massacre Armenians several times long before the Soviet Union was formed.
That’s Tashnag lies and bad history.
What is your favorite journey?
The journey from Istanbul to the Antalya resort.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Mushy-mouthed loyalty.
What is the phrase you most frequently use?
“My friends Recep and Ilham.”
What is your greatest regret?
When you go home, listen to Edith Piaf song “Regrettes rien” or something like that.
When and where were you happiest?
When I was wined and dined by the most senior EU executives. I had gained their respect, loyalty, and support.
What is your current state of mind?
Tense but relaxed.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Hair on my head and six cms to my height. I want to be as tall as my friend Mr. Aliyev.
But a few minutes ago you said you were happy with your looks.
You journalists talk about looking at both sides of a story. I also have the prerogative of double vision. You forget that I was a journalist: I know how to play the game.
What do you think is your greatest achievement?
How much time do you have?
Who do you hate?
The list is longer than the menu of a fancy Italian restaurant.
What’s your most treasured possession?
I would like to say Anna, but I know I would be criticized for calling her a possession.
What do you regard the lowest depth of misery?
When ignorant people with ancient brains criticize me.
Who are your favorite writers?
I don’t read. For diversion, I watch Turkish historical serials. The biography of Suleiman the Magnificent and others.
Who are your heroes in real life?
George Mardikian, the celebrity restaurateur who tried to bring Armenians closer to America. He founded ANCHA—I think that’s what it’s called–to facilitate diaspora Armenian emigration to the United States.
What is your favorite name?
I like English names…Colin, Clyde, Cyril, Craig…
What’s the motto you like?
Bentley, Rolls-Royce.
I meant your life principle.
I don’t think of principles. I do what has to be done. I am a practical man.
How would you like to die?
It’s too early to think of that.
What do you dislike most?
Dishonesty, cowardice, boot-licking, hypocrisy, self-delusion, lyin
